There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
