THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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