That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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