He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's shark week go big or go home
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
