I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
