I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
