you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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