He uses pillows to masturbate.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize