Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize