I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
