I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
vagina is talking i cant
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
