that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
