I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he was CRYING into my vagina
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
