I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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