margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
