It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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