Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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