after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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