How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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