HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
