dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
