Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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