my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just had sex on a roof
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
