mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
