I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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