some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
