my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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