I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
kristin has been a bad kristin
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
