you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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