Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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