I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
