i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
