I can't breathe out the right side of my face
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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