bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he puts the penis in happiness.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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