i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
