You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
