Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
4 words: hood of his car
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
