Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
