im drinking this country out of the recession.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize