Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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