guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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