who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
