He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
