hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize