It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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