"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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