Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
