After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
