he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
