my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
