i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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