Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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