Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
