OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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