the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
