he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
