I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
