I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
