More tranny stories later!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
two words...techno handjob
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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