i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
